Book 24 - Warriors, Farewell

The scene then changed abruptly. Hermes led the souls of the suitors, crying like bats, into Hades. Agamemnon and Achilles argued over who had the better death. Agamemnon described Achilles’ funeral in detail. They saw the suitors coming in and asked how so many noble young men met their end. The suitor Amphimedon, whom Agamemnon knew in life, gave a brief account of their ruin, pinning most of the blame on Penelope and her indecision. How dare they blame my wife for their deaths? They just had it coming to them! Agamemnon contrasted the constancy of Penelope with the treachery of Clytemnestra. Back in Ithaca, I traveled to father's farm. I sent my servants into the house so that I could be alone with my father in the gardens. I found that found had aged prematurely out of grief for his son and wife. He didn’t recognize me, and I didn’t immediately reveal myself, pretending instead that I was someone who once knew and befriended myself, Odysseus. But when Laertes began to cry at the memory of Odysseus, I threw my arms around Laertes and kissed him. I proved my identity with the scar and with my memories of the fruit trees that Laertes gave me when I was a little boy. I told Laertes how I has avenged myself upon the suitors. Laertes and I had lunch together. Dolius, the father of Melanthius and Melantho, joined us. While we ate, the goddess Rumor flew through the city spreading the news of the massacre at the palace. The parents of the suitors held an assembly at which they assessed how to respond to what happened. Halitherses, the elder prophet, argued that the suitors merely got what they deserved for their wickedness, but Eupithes, Antinous' father, encouraged the parents to seek revenge on me. Their small army tracked me to Laertes’ house, but Athena, disguised again as Mentor, decided to put a stop to the violence. Antinous’s father was the only one killed, felled by one of Laertes’ spears. Athena made the Ithacans forget the massacre of their children and recognized me as king. Peace was thus restored. It was all over.

Book 23 - The Trunk of the Olive Tree

Eurycleia went upstairs to call Penelope, who has slept through the entire fight. How can you sleep through such a big fight? How is that possible? She was supposed to peek out the door and see me, Odysseus, killing suitors after getting their gifts for Penelope. Penelope didn’t believe anything that Eurycleia said, and she remained in disbelief even when she came downstairs and saw me with her own eyes. Telemachus rebuked her for not greeting me more lovingly after my long absence, but I had other problems to worry about. I had just killed all of the noble young men of Ithaca—their parents would surely be greatly distressed. I'm sure I would be just as distressed and enraged if Telemachus was killed. I actually thought Athena would cover up for this. Ig uess, even when there is a superego at work to egg someone on, that person still has to clean up after their actions. I decided that me and my family would need to lay low at our farm for a while. In the meantime, a minstrel struck up a happy song so that no passersby would suspect what had taken place in the palace. Thank god for that man! When all of this is over, he is going to be one of the first to get a reward for their loyalty. Penelope remained wary, afraid that a god was playing a trick on her. She ordered Eurycleia to move her bridal bed, and I suddenly flared up at her that our bed is immovable, explaining how it was built from the trunk of an olive tree around which the house had been constructed. Hearing me recount these details, she knew that I must be her husband. It was about time that she recognized! We got reacquainted and, afterward, I gave the wife a brief account of my wanderings. I also told her about the trip that I needed to make to fulfill the prophecy of Tiresias earlier. The next day, I left with Telemachus for father's orchard. I gave Penelope instructions not to leave her room or receive any visitors. Telemachus and I were cloaked by Athena in darkness so that no one would see us as we walked through the town.

Book 22 - Death in the Great Hall

Before the suitors realized what is happening, I shot a second arrow through the throat of Antinous. The arrow was simply beautiful! Right in the middle of his trachea, or so my New Trier helper says. That ended his life span immediately. As it always has been, evil will always fall to good and the truth. No matter how strong and how powerful evil and falsehood is. The suitors were confused and believed this shooting to be an accident. I finally revealed myself, and the suitors became terrified. They had no way out, since Philoetius had locked the front door and Eumaeus had locked the doors to the women’s quarters. Eurymachus tried to calm me down, insisting that Antinous was the only bad apple among them, but I announced that I would spare none of them. How can they dare claim that they are not bad apples? Did they not decide to come to my house and eat my cattle, drink my wine, insult my son, and court my wife? Or did Antinous force them to do that too? Eurymachus then charged at me, but he was cut down by another arrow. Amphinomus was the next to fall, at the spear of Telemachus. I think Telly got the hint that I couldn't get that idiot. The rest I could "own". Amphinomus had given me a favor when I was shunned by the rest of these *******s. There was no way possible I could kill him. LIke Peter Pettigrew couldn't kill Harry Potter or deliver him to his master because he was indebted to Harry for saving his life. I too, was indebted and that debt was only repayable by giving the favorer refuge when he needed it most. An eye for an eye. What was done, has been repayed. I didn't tell Telly to kill him. But on the other hand, I didn't tell him to not kill him, either. Atleast, the blame does not go on me, labeling me as a coward. So, all's well when ends well. Telemachus got more shields and swords from the storeroom to arm Eumaeus and Philoetius, but he forgot to lock it on his way out. The idiot! Melanthius soon reached the storeroom and gets out fresh arms for the suitors. He wasn’t so lucky on his second trip to the storeroom, however, as Eumaeus and Philoetius found him there, tied him up, and locked him in. A full battle now raged in the palace hall. Athena, the greatest goddess of like, all time, appeared disguised as Mentor and encouraged me but doesn’t participate immediately, preferring instead to test my strength. Volleys of spears were exchanged, and I and my men killed several suitors while receiving only superficial wounds ourselves. Finally, Athena joined the battle, which then ended swiftly. I spared the minstrel Phemius and the herald Medon, unwilling participants in the suitors’ profligacy. The priest Leodes begged unsuccessfully for mercy. It was rather sad, but it had to be done, nonetheless.

Book 21 - Test of the Bow

Penelope brought out my bow out of the storeroom and announced that she will marry the suitor who can string it and then shoot an arrow through a line of twelve axes. Telemachus set up the axes and then tried his own hand at the bow, but failed in his attempt to string it. Would ut be that because he knew that I was back, he missed on purpose? He knew I would've killed him first if he maarried his mother while I was there. Could it be that it was all just a farce, or was he really thinking he could marry my wife, and then kill me once I began an attack on him? The suitors warmed and greased the bow to make it supple, but one by one they all tried and failed. Meanwhile, I followed Eumaeus and Philoetius outside. I assured myself of their loyalty and then revealed my identity to them by means of the scar on his foot. I promised to treat them as Telemachus’s brothers if they fought by my side against the suitors. I was going to treat like Eumaeus like my own brother after what he did to me at his hut, anyways. When I returned, Eurymachus had the bow. He felt disgraced that he cannot string it, because he knew that this failure proved his inferiority to me. Antinous suggested that they adjourn until the next day, when they can sacrifice to Apollo, the archer god, before trying again. I feel that the suitors are just one person. All they want to do is just marry Penelope. They don't really care who she marries as long as it is from one of them. What do they think that Penelope will be ordered to sleep with the rest of them if one of those idiots are selected? Do they think women are public property that whenever someone wants, could come use a woman, have fun, and simply leave? NO!!! That is not what a woman is! Women too, have personal honor, even if it is not recognized by society. This needs to be recognized by society, because women are just as important to society as the men. If there are no women, there won't be able to be any men, because no one will be able to bear the child of the man. Therefore, the woman is just as, if not more important than the man, whether that be in society, or in life, in general. That was a pretty smart move, though by Antinous, but in the fear of them achieving their goal, I, still disguised, then asked for the bow. All of the suitors complained, fearing that I would succeed. Antinous ridiculed me, saying that the wine had gone to my head and that I would bring disaster upon myself, just like the legendary drunken Centaur Eurytion. Telemachus took control and ordered Eumaeus to give me the bow. Needless to say, I easily strung it and sent the first arrow I grabbed whistling through all twelve axes. Ha! You should have seen the look on that idiot, Antinous' face! IT was hilarious! I leave you now to laugh out loud at his stupid looking, ugly, dumbstruck face. Fare well, or as you people say, see ya!

Book 20 - Signs and a Vision

I had loads of trouble sleeping that night, and by the amount of sounds she made, I am guessing Penelope did too. I worried that Telemachus and I would never be able to conquer so many suitors, but Athena reassured me that through the gods all things are possible. Tormented by the loss of her husband and her commitment to remarry, Penelope awoke and prayed for Artemis, her favorite goddess to kill her. Her distress woke me, which led to me asking for a good omen. It didn't really matter to me how many times Athena came and reassured me that I would win, people still have worries. People always need reassurance, but also have that little worrisome little Gemini cricket in their minds pondering the question, "What if something goes wrong?" Zeus responded with a clap of thunder, and, at once, a maid in an adjacent room was heard cursing the suitors. That was a sign to me, that the servants were also on my side. I thought of carrying out the plan right now, so that it may be easier to kill sleeping suitors. This however, would be an act of cowardice, something that I don't agree with. As the palace sprung to life the next day, Telemachus and I met, in succession, the swineherd Eumaeus, the foul Melanthius and Philoetius, a kindly and loyal herdsman who said that he had not yet given up hope of my return. The suitors entered, once again plotting Telemachus’s murder. Can you believe it? Idiotic, ungrateful filthy pieces of vermin, in my house, eating my food, courting my WIFE, and plotting the murder of MY SON in front of my very own eyes, and there's nothing that I could do about it!!!! Amphinomus convinced them to call it off, however, when a portent of doom appeared in the form of an eagle carrying a dove in its talons. He thought it was an omen that I would be back to avenge the death of my son. As if I wouldn't. Which sane man wouldn't avnege the death of their son? Idiots, I tell you, pure idiots! But Athena kept the suitors antagonistic all through dinner to prevent my anger from losing its edge. Ctesippus, a wealthy and arrogant suitor, threw a cow’s hoof at me, in response to which Telemachus threatened to run him through with his sword. The suitors laugh and laugh, failing to notice that they and the walls of the room are covered in blood and that their faces had assumed a foreign, ghostly look—all of which Theoclymenus interpreted as portents of inescapable doom. They never were aware of their deaths looming right in fromt of their faces. Stupid idiots! They'll know in the due course of time.

Book 19 - Recognitions and a Dream

When the suitors retired for the night,Telly and I removed the arms as planned. Athena lighted the room for us so that we could see as we worked. Telemachus told Eurycleia that we were storing the arms to keep them from being damaged. After we safely disposed of the arms, Telemachus retired and I was joined by the wife. She had come from the women’s quarters to question her "curious visitor". She knows that I had claimed to have met Odysseus, and she tested my honesty by asking me to describe her husband. I described myself, a task not to hard, capturing each detail so perfectly that it reduced Penelope to tears. I then told the story of how I met Odysseus and eventually came to Ithaca. In many respects, this story paralleled those that he told to Athena and Eumaeus in Books 13 and 14, though it is identical to neither. I told Penelope that, essentially, Odysseus had a long ordeal but is alive and freely traveling the seas, and predicted that Odysseus will be back within the month. Penelope offerred me a bed to sleep in, but I was used to the floor, I said, and declined. Only reluctantly did I allow Eurycleia to wash my feet, in case of recognition. As she was putting them in a basin of water, she noticed a scar on one of my feet. She immediately recognized it as the scar that I received when I went boar hunting with grandfather Autolycus. She threw her arms around me, but I silenced her while Athena kept Penelope distracted so that my secret will not be carried any further. The faithful Eurycleia recovered herself and promised to keep my secret. It was a good thing that it was Eurycleia, otherwise she might've leaked to Penelope. She has my trust since she has that of Telemachus. Before she retired, Penelope described to me a dream that she has had in which an eagle swoops down upon her twenty pet geese and kills them all; it then perched on her roof and, in a human voice, says that he is her husband who has just put her lovers to death. Penelope declares that she has no idea what this dream means. Rising to the challenge, I explained it to her. But Penelope decides that she was going to choose a new husband nevertheless: she will marry the first man who can shoot an arrow through the holes of twelve axes set in a line. Its rather easy for me, if they let me participate. Perhaps they will, the goal being to make themselves feel better about themselves after the restoration of their personal honor. This honor thing, its very important. If others get a blow at their's they try to damage that of a third party as well. If I can't win, neither can you. I have this competition in the bag. That is IF they let me participate.

Book 18 - Blows and A Queen's Beauty

Another beggar, as far as I know, by the name of Arnaeus, wanderred into the palace. For a beggar, he was rather brash: he insulted me, Odysseus and challenged me to a boxing match. He actually thought he would win. I pitied the poor fellow, but told him not the fate that awaited him. He thought that he would make quick work of the old man, that was supposed to be me, but Athena gave me extra strength and stature. Irus soon regreted challenging me and tried to escape, but by now the suitors took notice and were egging on the fight for the sake of their own entertainment. It was a good think they were under the infulence, otherwise they just might've noticed me. It ended quickly as I floored Irus and stopped just short of killing him. As I said before, I pitied the poor guy. The suitors congratulated me. One in particular, the moderate Amphinomous, toasted me and gave me food. I felt the irony, getting food as a grace by others in my own house. I really did felt Irus' pain, being floored, but in another sense. Irus was physically florred, but I, I was insulted and thrown to the ground in my own house. I felt pity for myself as I took the food to my mouth. I was fully aware of the bloodshed to come and was also overcome by pity for Amphinomus, so I pulled the man aside. I predicted to Amphinomus that I, Odysseus, would soon be home and gave him a thinly veiled warning to abandon the palace and return to his own land. But Amphinomus didn’t depart, despite being fraught with grave forebodings, for Athena had bound him to death at the hands of Telemachus, I think. Actually, I think I don't think I would be able to kill a man who pitied me and gave me food, no matter who I was. Athena then put it into Penelope’s head to make an appearance before her suitors. The goddess gave her extra stature and beauty to inflame their hearts. I assume that happened, because that is the way she came out. Pehaps it was just that it was so long since I saw her appealing beauty that she looked even more beautiful when my eyes actually beheld her. When Penelope spoke to the suitors, she led them on by telling them that I had instructed her to take a new husband if I would fail to return before Telemachus began growing facial hair. She then tricked them, to my silent delight, into bringing her gifts by claiming that any suitor worth his salt would try to win her hand by giving things to her instead of taking what’s rightfully hers. The suitors showered her with presents, and, as they celebrated, I instructed the maidservants to go to Penelope. The maidservant Melantho, Melanthius’s sister, insulted me as an inferior being and a drunk; I was so pissed off, that I then scared them off with threats. Hoping to make me even more angry at the suitors, Athena then inspired Eurymachus to insult me. This was the last straw. Somtimes, its fine, but other times, a man's just got to stand up for himself, no matter who is trying to walk over hiim. When I responded with insults of my own, Eurymachus threw a stool at me but missed, hitting a servant instead. Just as a riot was about to break out, Telemachus stepped in and diffused the situation, to the consternation of the suitors. Lucky that he did, or else I would've began the battle right then and there, not caring how many of them were in thier primes, or whatever it was Telly had told me earlier.

Book 17 - The Beggar at the Manor

Telemachus left us at Eumaeus' hut and headed to his palace, where he received a tearful welcome from Penelope and his favorite nurse Eurycleia. In the palace hall he met Theoclymenus and Piraeus. He told Piraeus not to bring his gifts from Menelaus to the palace, fearing that the suitors will steal them if they killed him. When he sat down to eat with Penelope, Telemachus told her what little news he received of me in Pylos and Sparta, but he didn’t reveal that he has seen me with his own eyes in Eumaeus’s hut. I told him not to for it was part of our plan! Theoclymenus then speaks up and swore that I was in Ithaca at this very moment. Damn his big fat mouth! He is the first one I'm going to kill after those suitors. Meanwhile, Eumaeus and I set out toward town in Telemachus’s footsteps. On the way they meet Melanthius, a base subordinate of the suitors, who heaped scorn on Eumaeus and kicked me, his beggar companion. I felt like discarding it and kicking his *** right then and then, making sure he wouldn't live to tell the tale. Man it was hard to keep in the frustration and anger. Now I know how Penelope felt all of those times I insulted her and she didn't say anything. Personal honor is really very important. Everyone needs to have theirs kept, otherwise there would not be a proper and functioning society. I received a similar welcome at the palace. The suitors gave me food with great reluctance, and Antinous went out of his way to insult me. I said it before, and I'll say it again, he is going to be the first to be killed. When I answered insult with insult, Antinous gave me a blow with a stool that disgusted even the other suitors. When man cannot protect honor with words, they resort to violence. Its always been the case. Now, before his death, I will make sure he gets a few extra punishments, a little revenge, a little torture, and a little game, all mixed in to one, the result of which will be his death. Report of this cruelty reached Penelope, who asked to have me brought to her so that she can question me about myself, Odysseus. I thought that my cover was going to be blown, because of all of the vivd details I would give in recounting my story. I, however, doidn’t want the suitors to see me heading toward the queen’s room. Eumaeus announced that he must return to his hut and hogs, leaving me alone with Telemachus and the suitors.

Book 16 - Father and Son

So at this point, I am still only relaying the story Hermes told me. When we last left off, Telly was going to Eumaeus' hut. Now, he has, and when he did, he found the swineherd talking with me, except I was in the disguisethat Athen put on me. Euameus suggested that I was staying with Telemachus at the palace. But Telemachus was afraid of what the suitors might do to them. Eumaeus then went to the palace alone to tell Penelope that her son had returned. When we father and son were alone in the hut, Athena appearred to me and called me outside. When I reentered the hut, my old-man disguise was gone, and I stood in the pristine glory of my heroic person. At first, Telemachus couldn't believe his eyes, but then we two embraced and wept. I recounted my trip with the Phaeacians and then began plotting the overthrow of the suitors. I formulated a plan to launch a surprise attack from within the palace: I would enter disguised as a beggar and Telemachus would hide the palace’s surplus arms where the suitors couldn't easily reach them. The two of us would then seize the arms and slaughter the suitors. Before Eumaeus could give Penelope news of Telemachus’s return, the messenger from the ship arrived and informed the entire palace that Telemachus has returned. Damn him and his big mouth! What, did he think that the suitors would give him a reward for telling them that? Everyone wants to satisfy their Ids. The suitors, dejected that their plot has failed, huddled outside to plan their next move. Antinous recommended putting Telemachus to death before he could call an assembly at which the suitors’ dirty schemes can be aired, but Amphinomus, one of the more thoughtful and well-behaved suitors, persuaded the others to wait for a sign from the gods before doing anything so rash. Penelope later found Antinous in the palace and denounced him for the plot against her son, the details of which Medon had overheard and revealed to her earlier. Eurymachus succeeds in calming Penelope down with his lies and false concern for the safety of Telemachus. One thing is for sure, the first one I'm going to kill is that ungrateful ******* Antinous! That guy pisses me off!!! My New Trier Helper was reminded of this part of my story by the part in Finding Nemo where Nemo was caught by the giant net and Merlin was getting really worried about loosing Nemo again, just before they start to fight the net.

Book 15 - How They Came to Ithaca

We last left off when I fell asleep in Eumaeus' hut. Meanwhile, I was told by Hermes, that Athen travelled to Sparta, where she founds my son and Pisistratus, Nestor’s son, asleep in Menelaus' palace. She appeared to Telemachus in a dream and told him that he must hurry home to Ithaca before the suitors succeed in winning his mother’s hand. She also warned him of the ambush that they have set and explains how to avoid it. Finally, she instructed him to head first for the home of the swineherd Eumaeus, who will convey the news of his safe return to Penelope. Am I supposed to reveal my true identity to him? What I don't understand, is why doesn't Athena jsut tell him that I am with Eumaeus, so that I may go with my son and kill all of those damn suitors. Anyways, the next day, Telemachus announced his departure and accepted gifts from Menelaus and Helen. If it weren't for those two, I swear, nothing would've happened at all, and I would still be at home, and everything would be perfectly fine. As Telemachus pulled away from the palace in his chariot, an eagle carrying a goose stolen from a pen swoopped down beside him. Helen interpreted the incident as an omen that I was about to swoop down on his home and exact revenge on the suitors. Damn right, I am! Once at Pylos, Telemachus had Pisistratus drop him off at his ship, insisting that he had no time to spare to visit Nestor again. The ship was about to set off when Theoclymenus, a famous prophet’s descendant who was fleeing prosecution for a crime of manslaughter that he committed in Argos, approached Telemachus and asks to come aboard. Telemachus welcomed him and offerred him hospitality when they got to Ithaca. I trained my son well, right? This is still the word of Hermes, just to let you know. In the hut of Eumaeus, meanwhile, I tested the limit of his hospitality by offering to leave in the morning, a false gesture that I hoped would prompt Eumaeus to offer to let me stay longer. I urged the old man not to go out of his way and said that I would earn his keep working for the suitors, but Eumaeus would have none of it. To get mixed up with those suitors, I was warned, would be suicide. The swineherd and I then swapped stories. Eumaeus explains how he first came to Ithaca: the son of a king, he was stolen from his house by Phoenician pirates with the help of a maid that his father employed. The pirates took him all over the seas until Laertes, my father, bought him in Ithaca. There, mother brought him up alongside her own daughter, the youngest born. Back to the story of Telly through Hermes, meanwhile, the next morning, Telemachus reached the shores of Ithaca. He disembarked while the crew headed to the city by ship. He entrusted Theoclymenus to a loyal crewman, Piraeus. As they parted, they saw a hawk fly by carrying a dove in its talons, which Theoclymenus interpreted as a favorable sign of the strength of my house and line. We will end now, for I must tend to those suitors. See you all later!

Book 14 - Hospitality in the Forest

When I went inside my new hut, I found Eumaeus outside my hut. Although Eumaeus didn’t recognize me as his master, he invited me inside. Athena must have done a really good job of putting a disguise on me. There, I had a hearty meal of pork and listened as Eumaeus heaped praise upon the memory of his former master, me, whom he fears is lost for good, and scorn upon the behavior of his new masters, the vile suitors. I felt like making a plan with him to poison the food of all of those ******* suitors and tell Eumaeus my true identity. I feared, however, the wrath of Athena. What would happen if she found out that I told her? What if she took my anger out on Telemachus and sent him to nowhere as revenge, even though little Telly didn't do anything? Still being an outsider, I predicted that Eumaeus will see his master again quite soon, but Eumaeus would hear none of it—he had encountered too many vagabonds looking for a handout from Penelope in return for fabricated news of me. As though she were a goddess who knew everything! People just wanted to hear that I was dead! They all want to satisfy their ids, and this seems to be the only way their Superego approves of. Still, Eumaeus took a liking to his guest. He put me up for the night and even let me borrow a cloak to keep out the cold. God bless him! When Athena lets me out of this form I will make him as rich as he ever dreamed of! When Eumaeus asked me where I came from, about my origins, I lied and said that I was from Crete. I couldn't tell him because of a vivid picture of Athena and her unleashing her wrath, worse than Poseidon, one that none could save me from. I couldn't let that happen all over again. I told him that I fought with me at Troy and made it home safely, but a trip that I made later to Egypt went awry, and I was reduced to poverty. It was during this trip, I said, that I said I heard that I was still alive. How happy he was to hear that! Anyways, I have to go now, I need my sleep.